A few weeks ago my family and I watched the movie “Here comes the Boom” with Kevin James. One of our favorite parts of the movie is when Kevin James fights his second fight and he lands a knockout punch. Kevin James being a nice guy goes over to shake his opponents hand and throws up all over him. As a family, though gross we erupted in laughter.
On a more serious note I use this illustration to highlight what as parents we intentionally and sometime unintentionally do to our children.We speak to our children using demeaning and sometimes hurtful words. In the moment we don’t realize the tone in which we speak or how our words are forming our children’s self-view.
As a parent and individual that works with families on a constant basis we must be aware of how our words can build up, encourage, empower, and edify our children as well as how our words can also demoralize, demean, and destroy our children’s self-worth and esteem. Verbal bullying can be passed down from generation to generation and the scars can run deep.
Some action items to consider would be to first evaluate the tone in which you talk to your children normally. Are you normally lecturing, name calling and accusing the young person. Secondly, get accountability. Ask a trusted family member to help you change your ways of communicating. Thirdly, if appropriate apologize to your young person and help them learn from this life lesson. Lastly, be consistent and make the effort to bring change.